literature

Cupid Said He Doesn t Know

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ibleedpoetry's avatar
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Literature Text

Yes you do, Cupid
Cross your eyes when you aim
Sharpen the tip on your heart
Cause granite has nothing on you
Rice-y beads slink through your
Throat like the maggots they are.
Was that why you puked in the
Alley behind the discotheque?
Or were you just sickened to
Black holes by your endless nosiness?

Yes you do, Cupid
Don’t forget how hard she tried
Outside of the warmth to get a breeze
When the swinging passerby went
In and out, in and out of her fantasy
Like the nonchalance was natural
But there was nothing natural
About a salty suicide in eyes

Yes you do, Cupid
He, on the crazy jackass,
Riding his fate like it was
Fun to get screwed by
Someone who you couldn’t
Detach from
Next time he has pills shot
Down his throat the name
And quantity won’t decipher
Itself through the amber
Magnifying glass of Jim Beam

Yes you do, Cupid
Who needs acerbic mixtures
Of tricky tears, lazy loneliness,
Corruptive consumption of the
Neatest detail,
Or
Guns
When we have you?

Yes you do, Cupid
Lol, I wrote this a few years ago on Valentine's Day. Very cynical, but then again, I usually am. Comments welcome!

Andrea Rose

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~Maya Angelou
© 2003 - 2024 ibleedpoetry
Comments1
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dignityshrapnel's avatar
This is, by far, one of the best poems I've read on the site, and that's the truth.

For one, the idea is right on. I understand the emotion you're conveying, and you've taken the abstract idea of love and sadness from it and turned it into a series of wonderful, concrete images.

Secondly, your vocabulary is perfect. There is an odd balance one must strike when writing poetry, that where the language is advanced but not pretentious and messy. You've struck the perfect chord in terms of word choice. "Acerbic mixtures", "salty suicide", etc. You use these great words and phrases, but you're not to good for a great word like "puke" if it serves the purpose, which it does.

And finally, structure. This poem was put together with attention to the feeling you were trying to evoke, and all of the great little nuances are not lost on the reader. The fact that with the beginning of each stanza you answer the statement of the title is an awesome idea, and the spacing of lines and legnth of stanzas is perfect.

Sory to rant, but this poem snuick up and surprised me. Outstanding job. Plus, the name "ibleedpoetry" kicks serious ass.